i can't believe i had my finger in that
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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