I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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