saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
