who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize