Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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