I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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