he wants to bone in the snuggie
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
