smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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