remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
