you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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