a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
