Where did you get a picture of my penis
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
