where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
