I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
