Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
