I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
