I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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