Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize