remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
