Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
