Whod you bang
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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