From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
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Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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