i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
