Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
