Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
