In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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