he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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