I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
