Already got asked if we're dating
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
