He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Green mimosas i think yes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
