Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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