And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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