The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize