So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
