I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
