No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
