I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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