You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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