I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
