I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
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I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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