try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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