I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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