did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
