I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
