Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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