Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
