Do vagina's smell?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
