I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
In America we eat man semen.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
