oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
