It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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