i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
