i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
