I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i need some magic done to my vagina
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
