He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize