When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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