she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
